Today my mother died. Actually, she died October 3, 1998, but for me, I think of it as I first wrote it. This magnificent woman died, by my estimation, 20 years too soon. So in year 12 of this journey past her death, it still shocks me that she’s dead.
Loving someone as well as I did her and being loved so well by her is undeniably a gift. But in a feeling akin to a child’s tantrum, I wanted more!
No regrets, no unsaid words of love, nothing but the deepest of need to see her and see myself through her eyes one more time. And yet, I know that would not sate my heart.
Life goes on, eh? And so it has. Magnificently in so many areas. If she were here, I doubt I would have become an executive coach; gone to Rwanda; spoken at the United Nations; been stretched to step out and accomplish the extraordinary in spite of my ordinariness.
“Vicky grew up in Indiana where life was wholesome and her Mother’s word was gospel.” I read those words in an article written about me in 1988 and raised an eyebrow. “I never said that to the writer!” I thought. But I intimated it so strongly she could draw no other conclusion.
This gospel giver, this woman of beauty, strength, self sacrifice and unconditional love, lives on through me through her wisdom. It drops into my head in the strangest of moments. Her voice, her lilt, her utter confidence that she was right. Into my head, my brain vessel….and changes everything in the moment and for all future moments.
About four years ago, ALL of her wisdom flooded my brain during an acupuncture session. With nothing to do but lie there with needles in my hip, I said to myself, “What am I supposed to do with this!?” “Write a book” came the undeniably clear answer. “And what am I going to call it??” “DEAD RITA’S WISDOM !” (No matter how many needles Dr. Gonzolo Flores stuck in me – I was FULLY alert – my eyes flashed open and I was gobsmacked!)
When Gonzo walked into the room a few minutes later I said, “You’re never going to believe what happened!” And he said without hesitation, “You’re going to write a book.” “ARE – YOU – KIDDING – ME??” I yelled in my head! But I’m cool! And I coolly replied, “That’s right. And it’s going to be called Dead Rita’s Wisdom.” He loved it and declared it a done deal. And I believed him, and believed in my ability to write this heretofore unknown book.
It’s taken time, money and overcoming my doubts and fears. But it will be published December 1st! Book launch at MOTHER’S Restaurant in Portland. December 3rd would have been her 79th birthday. It’s going to be a party to celebrate her wisdom. To celebrate the wisdom each of us receive from those who are in our lives, living or dead; who sustain us and give us clear direction.
So there’s the pitch for the book. If you’re interested in signing up to get one of the first copies, go to the webpage and sign up. I won’t sell your email, pass it on to your long lost friend in Nigeria who has $2.7 Million Dollars waiting for you, etc. I’ll be updating the page soon (it’s a bit out of date). http://DeadRitasWisdom.com I can then contact you when it’s out if you’d like to purchase.
AND (VERY IMPORTANT NOTE) If your name is Rita, you get a FREE Copy!
(your name and email will need to reflect that)
Just as I’ve done here, I have spent the last 12 years in this journey of missing her, loving her, celebrating her, and eventually, missing her all over again.
Honor those you love. May they long outlast their expiration date – I wish you frustration and exasperation by them. What I’d give to have Dead Rita drive me crazy with something she had just said. But instead, I’m only left with the incredible spirit of this woman. And that is enough for me.