The Situation
Four months into a six-month coaching engagement, my client said she felt that I doubted her ability to succeed in her job, leading to trust issues. I was surprised by her perception and saw it as a misunderstanding – even if I held such thoughts, I wouldn’t have expressed them without discussion. I now seek ways to restore her trust in me. How can I effectively rebuild that trust?
Answer
The situation you describe is common in coaching relationships, where communication nuances can easily be misinterpreted due to the personal and vulnerable nature of the engagement. Addressing the issue with authenticity, empathy and transparency will be essential to restoring your professional bond.
Acknowledge the Concern – Begin by recognizing your client’s feelings without defensiveness. Trust issues often stem from un- addressed tension. Set up a dedicated session where you allow her to explain in detail what led to her perception. A simple yet powerful statement like, “I appreciate you sharing your concerns with me. I genuinely want to understand what made you feel this way,” can open the door to constructive dialogue.
Practice Active Listening – During your conversation, focus on truly hearing what your client is saying, rather than planning your response. Reflect back her statements to confirm your understanding. Avoid offering explanations or corrections – instead, validate her experience. This approach shows respect and demonstrates that her feelings matter to you.
Take Responsibility for Impact – Simply apologize. It takes great courage to put the skunk on the table when someone tells you how she felt. Don’t over-engineer your response – a simple and heartfelt, “I’m sorry” matters.
Clarify Your Intentions – Once your client feels heard, clarify your coaching approach and intentions. And search yourself for honesty: did you judge her? And then reflect back your under- standing of how your comment may have come across. What is your intent? To challenge her constructively, and if so, how can you do it more effectively next time?
Time to Reset Your Relationship – Revise your working approach together. Ask your client how you can best support her moving forward and what changes might help her feel more secure. Reaffirm confidentiality, respect, and mutual commit- ment as the foundation of your partnership.
Demonstrate Consistency & Care – Rebuilding trust is a pro- cess, not a one-time conversation. Be consistent in your support, feedback and communication style in every subsequent session. Celebrate her progress, emphasize her strengths, encourage open communication, and specifically ask for honest feedback on the coaching process.
Reflect & Learn – It’s never easy to hear this kind of feedback. Acknowledge your own emotions and reset. You’re in a business that requires you to show up each and every time authentically and with vulnerability. Remember, we learn more from failure than success. Keep working at being a great coach and be thank- ful your client spoke her truth rather than talk with her feet.
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